Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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