IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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