nut hugger
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
