so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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