No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
