I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
