You smell like a Billy Joel song
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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