I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
