just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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