Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She swung at the pinata with crutches
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
