I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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