dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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