two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
