how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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