ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there was a trapeze. enough said
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
