Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just pee around me
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
