JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
