he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
