I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
