drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
