were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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