Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
