God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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