hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
