We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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