Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
