I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
