I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
