Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
