He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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