I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
