Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
