I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
