Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
