I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
