We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
