if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The uberlube is also flammable
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
