we're blogging at a bar
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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