I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
