My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
