I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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