Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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