So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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