what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
