Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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