AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
