I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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