have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
