Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
id be glad to
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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