I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
