Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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