The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
