I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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